I’m a thirty-something female who has experienced depression on and off for nearly ten years. After a particularly difficult year, including two stays in a psychiatric hospital, I decided to start this blog to write about my experiences.

I recently read a quote that perfectly describes how I feel:

I think I will never really get over my breakdown. If the stone falls hard enough, the ripples last a lifetime  Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive

I’m hoping that writing this blog will help me process some of the things I’ve been through so that in my darker moments I can look back on what I’ve learned and hopefully reassure, comfort or inspire others going through difficult times.

At the moment, I’m on my fourth medication in six months, desperately hoping that the combination of fluoxetine (anti-depressant) and lamotrigine (mood stabiliser) will work for me and make life feel easier.

Currently I’m:

Reading: Hardwiring Happiness, Rick Hanson
Watching: Locked-up (Spanish prison drama as part of Walter Presents on Channel 4)
Playing: With my dog, chasing ping-pong balls around the lounge
Trying: To re-establish healthy eating habits
Cooking: Anything from Deliciously Ella Everyday
Eating: YeoValley frozen strawberry yoghurt
Drinking: Water or the occasional chai latte
Calling: Usually my parents to arrange doggy daycare
Texting: My best friends
Pinning: Articles about blogging!
Crafting: A collage of my favourite quotes
Going: Camping in a yurt
Loving: Blogging – it’s addictive!
Hating: Hayfever
Discovering: That I’m not in control
Enjoying: Light evenings
Thinking: We’re all in this together – we can’t do it on our own
Feeling: Hopeful and a bit scared
Hoping: That this latest combination of medications will work
Listening: To Jamie Cullum’s jazz show on BBC Radio 2
Celebrating: Completing my first ever 5k running race
Thanking: The lovely team who coached us through 5k and ran with us
Considering: Where to go for my next holiday
Finishing: The tub of frozen yoghurt I mentioned at the start of this list
Starting: This blog!